I'm starting this blog right now, without an idea for a title, and only a very basic idea of what I want to get off my chest. Actually, there are so many things I should vent, but not today.
Like every other part of life, having autistic children has it's ups & downs, and there's not really a precedent for how to handle some of the downs. I mean, I don't remember reading about it in some "So you're gonna have a baby!" magazine, nor was it part of any parenting skills I picked up from my parents....also..Meltdowns101 was never part of the school curriculum. I'm sure some of the 'support' & 'professional' people out there associated with ASD mean well, it's just that a lot of my experiences with these have been less than positive at times.
Friday afternoon this week saw B headbutting a glass door, resulting in a breaking of the glass, and another lump and bruise on his head.
This is not a new trick for him. He is quite the seasoned headbutter.....infact I think he might do well hanging out in UK pubs!
He doesn't do it now as often as he once did, and I have witnessed it many times.....(not always glass, sometimes brick walls, or concrete paths), and he has tested my plasterboard repairing skills on numerous occasions.
Why does he do it ?
Well, there are a number of theories, but I guess we can't be 100% sure until he actually says why, himself.
It's almost certainly to do with the frustration he must feel in not being able to get his messages across, and possibly not being able to process the confusing messages we so called "normals" (I use that term very loosely) are constantly putting out there.
Whatever the reason, it is still something very difficult, for me, to see. Over the years my knee-jerk reactions of "OMG! Begin Panicky Mother Mode!" have mellowed to more of a "Here we go again!". It still makes me feel physically ill, and then I go into hours of watching him, getting the torch and checking his pupils, poking & prodding him while he's asleep to make sure he can be roused...etc etc etc. Because while I may appear somewhat calm on the outside, inside there is a little voice saying "is this the one that's done major damage that only an MRI machine will be able to see?"
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart.....
7-11. Overpriced everything and Slurpees all in one convenient location.
Our local 7-11 is run by a family originally from India. Occasionally, J, B and myself drop in there after school to buy a treat, if a potentially stressful day has turned out to be not-so-stressful.
One particular afternoon about 2 months ago, J decided that the moment we were paying for our purchases was a great time to loudly tell the guy behind the counter, " You look like Apu from the Kwik-E-Mart!" ....... Exit stage right!
Last week we were in there again. Same counter, same guy behind it......a line of about 6 people behind us. J chose not to blurt out something borderline-racist. Instead he started singing " Turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so".......accompanied by his version of the Robot Dance.
It could've looked great on YouTube! Wish I carried a vid. cam everywhere.
Our local 7-11 is run by a family originally from India. Occasionally, J, B and myself drop in there after school to buy a treat, if a potentially stressful day has turned out to be not-so-stressful.
One particular afternoon about 2 months ago, J decided that the moment we were paying for our purchases was a great time to loudly tell the guy behind the counter, " You look like Apu from the Kwik-E-Mart!" ....... Exit stage right!
Last week we were in there again. Same counter, same guy behind it......a line of about 6 people behind us. J chose not to blurt out something borderline-racist. Instead he started singing " Turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so".......accompanied by his version of the Robot Dance.
It could've looked great on YouTube! Wish I carried a vid. cam everywhere.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Nudey Magazine Day!
Before I get to the link in this story which led to the title of this blog, I guess I'll have to do a quick summary of a few things for it all to make sense. <breathe>.
B is 15 years old now, but has been quoting various movies verbatim since he was around 4 years old. He doesn't have conversations. He rarely speaks more than 3 words in a row at any time, and unless he's talking his "movie talk", he can be difficult to understand. Mostly because he just prefers not to speak, not because he is physically unable. Clearly that's not a trait he inherited from me!
It took us ( speech therapists, teachers, myself) til he was around 7 years old to get him to even say "Mum", which he did for around a year, then promptly ditched because that isn't my name, and everyone else calls me Rachel or Rach, so why should he reaffirm my relationship to him every single time he wants me?
Movie talk is the best & most common way to hear B's voice. This is possibly my responsibility....(I was going to say' fault', but I'm not sure it's such a bad thing....we will cover that later.) Quite often he will, very enthusiastically, blurt out a few lines from which ever movie is playing in his DVD player, or in his brain. Sometimes this happens at the most inconvenient times, but that's what makes it so fabulous! It only takes him about 2 views of a movie before he has the whole dialogue memorised and in quotable position......although he has been known to only have watched a movie once before he can quote the whole thing. This may all seem like bad parenting to some, but that's only because they aren't in on the cool happenings around my place. So they're forgiven.
A couple of weeks ago, a plumber came over to do some quotes for my landlords. I was standing in the kitchen talking to him, when B pops his head around the corner and yells out " Master! Dinner is prepared!" in his best Magenta (Rocky Horror Picture Show) voice. The plumber was gobsmacked, and looked as though he couldn't leave fast enough......I just kept talking in my best " what kid? I didn't see a kid?" voice.
That same week, we had what I like to think of as a Golden Movie Quote Moment. My youngest son, J, 8 years old and also on the Autism Spectrum, was having his usual morning run through, ' ok what's on today's timetable at school and is there something out-of-routine that I need to panic about???'.
J was quizzing me in the car..... " Mum, what day is it today?"
"It's Thursday" I said......and he proceeded to tell me about Thursdays at school.
B piped up after J had finished. " Rach, what day is it". So I answered " It's Thursday", not realising he was prompting me to ask him " What day is it?".
Deciding Rach clearly wasn't coherent enough to catch on, he asked J. " J, what day is it?" ...so J played along " B, what day is it?"
B replied " It's Nudey Magazine Day!!!!"- (Adam Sandler in Billy Madison)
B is 15 years old now, but has been quoting various movies verbatim since he was around 4 years old. He doesn't have conversations. He rarely speaks more than 3 words in a row at any time, and unless he's talking his "movie talk", he can be difficult to understand. Mostly because he just prefers not to speak, not because he is physically unable. Clearly that's not a trait he inherited from me!
It took us ( speech therapists, teachers, myself) til he was around 7 years old to get him to even say "Mum", which he did for around a year, then promptly ditched because that isn't my name, and everyone else calls me Rachel or Rach, so why should he reaffirm my relationship to him every single time he wants me?
Movie talk is the best & most common way to hear B's voice. This is possibly my responsibility....(I was going to say' fault', but I'm not sure it's such a bad thing....we will cover that later.) Quite often he will, very enthusiastically, blurt out a few lines from which ever movie is playing in his DVD player, or in his brain. Sometimes this happens at the most inconvenient times, but that's what makes it so fabulous! It only takes him about 2 views of a movie before he has the whole dialogue memorised and in quotable position......although he has been known to only have watched a movie once before he can quote the whole thing. This may all seem like bad parenting to some, but that's only because they aren't in on the cool happenings around my place. So they're forgiven.
A couple of weeks ago, a plumber came over to do some quotes for my landlords. I was standing in the kitchen talking to him, when B pops his head around the corner and yells out " Master! Dinner is prepared!" in his best Magenta (Rocky Horror Picture Show) voice. The plumber was gobsmacked, and looked as though he couldn't leave fast enough......I just kept talking in my best " what kid? I didn't see a kid?" voice.
That same week, we had what I like to think of as a Golden Movie Quote Moment. My youngest son, J, 8 years old and also on the Autism Spectrum, was having his usual morning run through, ' ok what's on today's timetable at school and is there something out-of-routine that I need to panic about???'.
J was quizzing me in the car..... " Mum, what day is it today?"
"It's Thursday" I said......and he proceeded to tell me about Thursdays at school.
B piped up after J had finished. " Rach, what day is it". So I answered " It's Thursday", not realising he was prompting me to ask him " What day is it?".
Deciding Rach clearly wasn't coherent enough to catch on, he asked J. " J, what day is it?" ...so J played along " B, what day is it?"
B replied " It's Nudey Magazine Day!!!!"- (Adam Sandler in Billy Madison)
Friday, November 5, 2010
Better Late Than Never
After reading the travel blog of a friend, I made a snap decision to share my personal 'journey' through sometimes not-so-glamorous, but none-the-less interesting places.
I really should've started documenting things about 13 years ago, when my (what some may consider) 'conventional' life changed just a little bit. Hindsight is fabulous isn't it? But I'm not sure I was ready, or even able to put things into text or context back then. So like the title suggests, I feel it's better late than never to start sharing.
I really should've started documenting things about 13 years ago, when my (what some may consider) 'conventional' life changed just a little bit. Hindsight is fabulous isn't it? But I'm not sure I was ready, or even able to put things into text or context back then. So like the title suggests, I feel it's better late than never to start sharing.
Amongst the incomprehensible ramblings contained in these blogs, there may be traces of humour, insight and small amounts of raw emotion. Hopefully what will shine through, is the fact that not all our journeys contain exotic destinations, romantic interludes, or intrigue, but that does not make them any less important, inspirational, or unbelievable.
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